8 Ways Therapy Will Ruin Your Life (as know it…)

It’s true.  Therapy will ruin your life, as you know it.  In saying that, attending therapy is not going to place a bomb under your life so that it becomes unrecognisable – that’s not how a good psychotherapist rolls (check out How to find a good therapist) and certainly not how I rumble.  A good therapist will ensure you move at a pace that feels comfortable and safe for you to digest and process things as they emerge.  In saying that, individual and couples therapy (two of my passions) are powerful, dynamic AND they will change your life.

If you experience anxiety, depression, apathy, conflict/disconnection in your relationships, low self-esteem and/or self-worth or you keep finding yourself in similar situations – just with different people…then therapy could be what you are looking for.  Therapy helps to loosen up our stuck ways of being, through the lens of awareness and, creates more flexibility in how we do our life…all in a very supportive space.  Let me know if you want some support with this.

Getting to know yourself is the greatest journey you will experience in your life!!

 So, for those who are curious about therapy and what it’s all about, I’ve put together 8 ways therapy can support you to change your life, as you know it.  Of course, these changes are not going to happen overnight although you might have some powerful ‘ahh-ha’ moments that will be super impactful early on in therapy.  

1.     You will stop blaming other people for how you feel and take responsibility for your life.

When you are in some good, long-term individual or couple therapy, you will learn that your life, and the way it is, is your responsibility… Hard but true!  

Yes, of course we are affected by other people…AND it is our responsibility to get curious as to why we have been impacted.  Your interactions will become a lot more conscious and instead of blaming another person for how you feel, you will find that you shine the light of awareness on your process instead.  It may look something like this, “ooo wow, when they said that, I felt that in my chest…I know that feeling…let me take a moment to figure out what meaning I made up about that?”  Add this, with some great communication skills (which you will hopefully also learn in therapy), your relationship with yourself and those around you will transform.  

2.     Your self-worth and self-esteem will improve

You will gain insight into where your self-worth and self-esteem issues rest within you. 

You will navigate how your past is impacting your now and develop ways that you can shift old patterns of behaviour that do not support you anymore.  You will become the observer of your mind and notice the negative self-talk and develop a much kinder, more compassionate relationship with yourself. 

You will improve self-trust and learn that your body has so much wisdom to offer you.  There is nothing wrong with you.  You are not broken.  You can trust your feelings and feel safe with yourself and in your relationships.

3.     You will lose some friends and gain some new ones

Once you are aware of your patterns, you will start to change how you show up in your relationships and that may mean that the dynamic in friendships and relationships shifts.

As your self-worth and self-esteem improve, you will learn to embed good healthy boundaries in your relationships.   This may mean you will stop operating in old, out-dated ways of people-pleasing, over-working, supressing feelings etc.  Whenever there are changes in us, we shift our relationships.  Sometimes this is received positively by those around us, but sometimes our changes are not received so positively. 

4.     You will learn discipline

Discipline gets a really bad rap.  I used to think pretty negatively about good old discipline – I would think, “there’s no way I’m going to be tied to doing something so structured”.  BUT! If you want to change how your life is, YOU need to seek support and do the thing/s…and not just once or twice – and not just for a month… The things you learn in therapy will need to be implemented into your life.

Changing patterns of behaviour can be tough.  Those patterns have more than likely, been around for a long time and have kept us emotionally (and sometimes physically) safe.  You will need to implement a regular practice of connecting to your body and notice how you are feeling.  Awareness and self-compassion become our focus!

5.     You care less about a lot of things

When you truly get to know yourself, you will feel pretty amazing and realise that you don’t have to work as hard to feel ok in the world.   You will learn how extraordinary you are and the more you become who you really are, the kinder and more compassionate you feel towards yourself and others.

6.     You will become super aware of what is going on in your body

You will learn that your body has soooooo much wisdom to offer you.  We are often (or permanently) disconnected from our bodies and live entirely in our minds.  Society even praises the fact that we are so great at thinking but when we are disconnected from our bodies, we miss an essential ingredient to living with more awareness and self-trust.  There is a very cool thing called neuroception, which is your nervous system scanning the environment four times every second.  That’s a lot right?!  Neuroception keeps us safe.  When we pay attention to what is going on in our bodies, we have the opportunity to rewrite past trauma so it stops unconsciously repeating itself throughout our daily lives.

7.     Your primary relationship will improve

Hooray! You will learn how your adaptive protective behaviours (that once served you) create dysfunction in your relationship and keep you from connecting with your partner in true intimacy. You will also learn ways that keep you in connection with your partner to create a more joyous and spontaneous relationship.

8.     You will want everyone to get therapy!!

Once you have experienced the amazing way your life changes with therapy, you will be suggesting to everyone in your life that they should seek out a good therapist!!!

If you are keen to change things up in your life as you know it with some good quality, rich and expansive therapy, reach out to make an appointment. Let’s be part of creating a better, kinder and more tolerable world!!!!!